Long Way Down

Prologue: A Letter From the In-Between

Dear Stranger, or perhaps not so strange after all, I write to you from a liminal space, a place where time stretches thin and reality bends with the weight of ghosts. It's a curious sort of existence, one foot in the now, the other in the nevermore.

You might not know me, but I reckon we share more common ground than either of us might guess. My name's Will, and I've been on a journey—a long way down, if you will.

I want to tell you about it, about the rules, the pain, the weight of a gun in a trembling hand. But this isn't just my story; it's a mirror reflecting back at you, framed in the smoke of a life that could have been anyone's.

I'm no preacher, no teacher, just a voice from the in-between, beckoning you to listen, to see through my eyes. As you read on, think about your own life, the heavy moments and the light ones, and how each step, each breath, each choice shapes the path you tread.

Chapter One: The Rules

Let's start with the rules—my rules, the ones I thought were etched in stone. Rule number one: no crying.

Never show weakness. Rule number two: no snitching.

Your lips sealed, even when every fiber of your being screams to shout the truth. Rule number three: revenge.

If someone you love gets killed, you have to make it right. You have to settle the score.

These rules, they were my gospel, the commandments handed down through generations in my family, in my neighborhood, in the heart of the city that sometimes felt more like a war zone than a home. But what I learned, what I want you to glean from these words, is that rules can be a tricky business.

They can guide you or bind you, lift you or suffocate you. Have you ever followed a rule blindly, only to find yourself lost in the dark? I did.

It cost me nearly everything. The night my brother Shawn was killed, those rules seared into my very being, guiding my hand as I reached for his gun.

It felt cold, heavy, like a final judgment. I thought I knew what I had to do.

But let me ask you, have you ever been so certain of something, only to have doubt creep in like a shadow at your back?

Chapter Two: The Elevator

The descent began in an elevator—just me, Shawn's gun tucked into the waistband of my jeans, and a heart thundering against my ribs like it wanted out. Each floor, a stop, a visitor.

You might think an elevator is just a box that goes up and down, but that one, it was a vessel, ferrying more than just flesh and bone. It carried memories, specters of the past, each with a message, a piece of the puzzle.

Have you ever been trapped in your own cycle of thoughts, replaying moments like a movie you can't pause? That was me, floor by floor, ghost by ghost. Each ding of the elevator signaled a new confrontation with the past.

And with every spirit that entered, the walls closed in a little tighter, the air grew a little thinner, the weight of Shawn's gun a little heavier. You see, we all have our elevators, don't we? Those moments or places that challenge us to face what we've done, what's been done to us, and what we're about to do.

It's uncomfortable, it's claustrophobic, but it's also where change begins. Have you found your elevator yet, or are you still waiting for the doors to open?

Chapter Three: The Spirits

Each spirit had a story, a lesson tangled in the threads of their existence. There was Buck, and Dani, and Uncle Mark, and.

..

well, the list goes on. They weren't just echoes of my past; they were mirrors, showing me fragments of myself, of the world, that I had refused to see.

Their voices melded into a chorus of what could have been, each one holding up a signpost at the crossroads of my soul. Have you ever heard the whispers of your own ghosts, felt their cold breath on the nape of your neck? They're not there to haunt you, not really.

They're there to reveal truths, to guide you away from the precipices you can't even see you're standing on. My visitors in that descending box were my chance at redemption—or damnation.

And I bet you've met your own spirits, haven't you? Maybe not as vividly as I did, but in the quiet moments, the early mornings or late nights, when the world falls silent and all that's left is you and your memories. They're trying to tell you something.

Are you listening?

Chapter Four: The Revelation

With each spirit's tale, the gun in my waistband transformed. No longer just a weapon, it became a symbol, a heavy anchor of the cycle of violence, the eye-for-an-eye ethos that had claimed so many I loved.

The very rules I lived by, now seemed like chains. I began to see the web of connections, how one act begets another, how the pain I sought to inflict was just the pain I felt, reflected outward.

Have you ever looked in the mirror and not recognized the person staring back at you? That was me, in the elevator, with dead men talking. They held up the mirror, and what I saw made my stomach turn.

But it was also a gift, a grim opportunity to choose a different reflection, to break the cycle. You've had those moments too, I'm sure.

Times when everything you thought you knew about yourself is called into question, when the ground beneath you feels like it might give way. It's terrifying, but it's also the moment you can choose to step onto a new path.

Chapter Five: The Weight Lifted

As I descended, the gun grew lighter—not in heft but in significance. It was no longer my only option, no longer my inevitable path.

I realized that I had a choice, a terrifying and liberating choice. To continue the cycle or to end it.

To be a victim of the rules or to rewrite them. But the choice wasn't just about me; it was about everyone who would come after me, everyone who was caught in their own elevator, their own rules, their own cycle.

Have you ever felt the release of a burden you didn't even know you were carrying? It's like taking a breath after being underwater for too long. The world comes into sharper focus, the colors more vivid, the possibilities endless.

That's what it felt like when I realized the power of choice, of agency. It was a revelation that came with a cost, but one I was finally willing to pay.

And you, reader, you've been there, haven't you? At the crossroads, the decision point, the moment of truth. It's a place where everything changes, where you find out who you really are and what you're really made of.

It's not easy, but nothing worth having ever is.

Chapter Six: The Cycle Broken

When the elevator finally reached the lobby, when the doors slid open with a finality that echoed in my bones, I stepped out a different person. The cycle was broken, not with a bang, but with a quiet click as the gun found its place on the floor of the elevator, left behind like the shell of the person I used to be.

I emerged not with answers, but with questions, not with vengeance, but with hope. Have you ever made a choice that felt like it could change everything? It's a rare kind of bravery, to walk away from the path you thought you were destined to follow.

But sometimes, that's exactly what's needed. Sometimes, you have to be the one to say 'enough' and forge a new way forward for yourself and for others.

I know you've faced trials of your own, stood at the edge of decisions that felt too heavy to bear. But like me, you have the strength within you to choose differently, to choose better.

It's in these moments that we find out what we're truly capable of.

Epilogue: A New Beginning

So, here I am, and there you are, and between us lies this tale of a long way down. A story that's mine but could just as easily be yours, about breaking free from the chains of the past and the rules that once defined us.

It's about the power of choice and the courage to face our ghosts, to listen to their stories and learn from them. I hope that, in reading this, you've seen a bit of yourself, that you've found comfort in our shared struggles and inspiration in our common humanity.

And I hope you've come to realize that no matter how long the way down seems, there's always a path leading back up, back to the light. If my words have moved you, if they've made you pause and reflect on your own life, then I invite you to delve deeper into the masterpiece that inspired my journey.

"Long Way Down" by Jason Reynolds is a story that deserves to be experienced, to be felt in the soul. It will challenge you, change you, and leave you with more than you had when you first turned its page.

Trust me, it's a ride worth taking. With a shared spirit, Will